I have no idea what I weigh, and for the first time in a long time, I’m not focused on the numbers. About a month ago I told my husband to hide the scale and not to surrender it to me for any reason whatsoever. For the first time in a long time I’m determined to emphasize how I feel and not how I look. By no means am I implying I shouldn’t care about weight or appearance, but frankly it can easily become an unhealthy obsession.
In December of 2013 I joined a new gym, Body Project Fitness Studio in Robbinsville, New Jersey. Upon meeting with C.E.O. and trainer extraordinaire, Lindsay Vastola, I recognized a serious error in my failed previous approach to fitness; specifically, I focused on short-term goals instead of long-term fulfillment. Ultimately, my story is like many others. I dropped weight for my wedding, starved myself for a friend’s wedding, and found temporary thinness in the fitness fad of the hour. I sought temporary solutions for a long-term problem: consistency.
There was nothing consistent about my previous fitness and nutritional experiences. Until I began contemplating starting a family, I didn’t accept accountability for mishaps and misfortunes regarding my health and happiness. Today I’m on the path to consistency, which is inevitably the key to success. I’m not counting calories and I haven’t forgone chocolate or wine. I journal what I eat and trace and track my moods based on the foods I consume. I work out five to six days a week and because I keep my routine filled with fun in the form of barre, yoga, cardio, etc. , I’m not bored. In fact, I am challenged and inspired. At the gym I’m held accountable. While I submit myself to the scale at the gym, I also partake in a body metric analysis, which allows me to understand “all of me.” This is a “whole person” process, so I’m determined to focus on the experience and its revelations.
I’m about to partake in a six-week challenge that is centered upon transformation. This snowy and cold winter has been unbearable to most, but in my heart it feels like spring. I’m on the verge of a re-birth and I can see, feel, and hear myself in a new light. Like a caterpillar sheds its cocoon, I’m eradicating the former image of myself. This transformation is not solely centered on the body, but rather it exists to extend and empower itself to every element of my life. I’m excited to embark upon the adventure.
Fittingly, this transformation aligns itself with other significant events and activities in my life. To begin, I’m off to celebrate and cherish time with my husband. The opportunity to restore and renew love is just as magical as its initial blessings. It’s also almost Lent, which is the season of penance and remembrance. Finally, spring itself will be sprung. This season of growth offers time for reflection and rejuvenation. I never imagined consistency could be so attractive and awesome. While the body is a work in progress, I feel the first transformation has already transpired. My heart is full of promise and potential.
“Lasting change cannot occur without transformation of the heart.” –Nathan Morris.